I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
