so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
