so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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