Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
