butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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