come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
