im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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