Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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