Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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