Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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