arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
