oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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