I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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