there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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