at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Still dying that you shit outside
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
