none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
