there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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