you guys were way drunker than both of me
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
