hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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