That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
