We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
