He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
