bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
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I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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