can we get nightvision for the apartment?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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