so explain again why im purple
no
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
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I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
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Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
All the doctor said was why
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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