I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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