i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
