WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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