I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
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Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
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My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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