My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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