And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize