perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just puked most of my soul out..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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