I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
