I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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