Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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