D3 body, D1 cock
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
