i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
