You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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