you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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