I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
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There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
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I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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