all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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