4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize