I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
