My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
