He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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