I didn't shave. On purpose
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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