i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
