If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
