She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
