Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Randomize
