He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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