GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
