This girl is more easily done than said...
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
