wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
