my room smells like sperm. sweet.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
