There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
